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Unleashing Your Inner Black Sheep

How to develop personal values

To reach your full potential – as a leader, as an employee, as a human – it’s critical that you understand what motivates you: your personal values and the things that make you, YOU! In this episode, we’ll talk with Motivational Speaker Brant Menswar, the Founder and CEO of Rock Star Impact, and author of Black Sheep: Unleash the Extraordinary, Awe-Inspiring, Undiscovered You. Here, he explains:

  • Why black sheep are more authentic than white sheep
  • Why finding your "What" should come before finding your "Why"
  • How to identify your Non-Negotiable, Personal Core Values; and in doing so
  • Discover your Purpose!

If you prefer to read along while you listen, we've done all the hard work for you! We listened back to this episode and took notes below, and access is free! 

Rock Star Impact

  • Rock Star Impact is Mr. Menswar’s consulting firm that focuses on personal core values and purpose. 
  • Everyone has their organizational core values, but how do your employees engage with those values to determine and understand their own personal values?
  • Rock Star Impact works to bridge the gap between organizational values and personal values.

A Personal Inspiration

  • In 2012, Mr. Menswar’s oldest son Theo was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer that required a bone marrow transplant, which led to him developing a more serious, life-threatening disease -- which he thankfully survived. 
  • This traumatic experience inspired not only Mr. Menswear’s book, but his entire philosophy on core values. He believes that it’s only when you know your own core values that you can be ready to face difficult life situations.

Authenticity and Black Sheep Personal Values

  • Farmers do not value black sheep as much as the rest of the flock, because a black sheep’s wool cannot be dyed. Learning this fact led Mr. Menswear to view that every black sheep is 100% authentic and original, something that cannot be made into something it wasn’t meant to be. 
  • Black Sheep stems from this notion - that everyone should learn to strive to be authentic, original, and exactly what you were meant to be. 
    • This is where personal values come into play.. Your values mold and shape you into who you are supposed to be and those values should hold true throughout your experiences in life. 

“What” not “Why”

  • Mr. Menswar mentions Simon Sinek’s work Start With Why, but disagrees with his philosophy for those who do not already know their “why.”
  • He claims our “why” is born from our “what.” 
    • This means that our personal values are our “what” and our “why” is formed from those personal core values.
  • You must start with your non-negotiable personal core values before you can truly form and understand why you are working toward your goals in life. 

Personal Values, Crafting Your Purpose and  “Living Your Truth”

  • The concept of “living your truth” relates to doing something “on purpose”, which  goes beyond simply living intentionally. It’s about taking actions that align with our Personal Core Values and Purpose.
  • On his website, Mr. Menswar defines 125 different core values through his “Black Sheep Assessment” - this assessment can help you identify your own Personal Core Values.
  • Mr. Menswar suggests sticking to a “Flock of Five” Personal Core Values - but he maintains six: creativity, hope, impact, empathy, family, and authenticity. 
  • Once you know your Personal Core Values, you can then craft your Purpose.
  • Mr. Menswar defines his Purpose as “to creatively impact others by authentically providing hope”. Note that four of his six core values can be found in his Purpose.
  • Your Purpose MUST align with your non-negotiable Personal Core Values in order for you to live your truth.

Differences in Our Personal Values

  • Our Personal Core Values are developed over the course of our lives. 
  • Each and every person’s upbringing and experiences are instrumental in determining those personal core values. 
  • Peak experiences can have a profound effect, whether those experiences are positive or negative. 
  • Our core values are developed early, and hold steady throughout our lives - they are what drive us. 
  • What does change, however, is the “how.”
    • The “how” is how you go about honoring your personal values. There are many different ways that people can stay true to their core values and they can change based on situation and experiences. 

The Concept of “Non-Negotiables”

  • Non-negotiable is just another term that Mr. Menswar uses to describe Black Sheep Personal Core Values. 
    • The “non-negotiable” term comes from the fact that your personal core values should always reign true regardless of the situation you are in.
    • They do not change throughout the course of your life and you should always stay true to those values, hence the name “non-negotiables.”

Proving that Your Personal Values are Real

  • Within the initial personal core values that people develop, usually two to three of them are rock solid. This leaves another two or three that are likely completely fabricated and do not fit. 
  • These false values are often who you want to be, who someone tells you you need to be, or you could even be “caring for someone else’s sheep” (Defining your personal values as someone else’s).
  • People need to stop trying to convince themselves that their Personal Core Values are real and start finding the proof that they are real. 
  • In his coaching practice, Mr. Menswar preaches that there is a two-week proving period in which you must be able to prove that your values are truly your core values. 
    • “When you have proof, you don’t need belief.”
  • These core values must show up organically in your life each and every day.
  • Aspirational values will not be able to be proven because “black sheep live in the present, not the future.” Your personal values must be immediately applicable and actionable, they aren't something you hope to acquire one day.
  • If you can’t find proof of your personal values, you should question whether or not that is a true core value. 
  • People can often get too specific or detailed with their values, which can lead to difficulty proving that value. Sometimes the horizons of that value must be broadened. 

Communication of Your Personal Core Values

  • Communication is essential to developing, defining, and proving your personal core values. 
  • You must be able to share your personal values with other people and “speak them into existence” while simultaneously proving they are in fact real core values.
  • If core values are chosen but not communicated with others or “programmed into each and every day,” those values will not live up to their true potential.
  • By “speaking your values into existence”, it can even change others’ perspective on you.

What if Your Personal Values Don’t Align With Those of Your Peers?

  • We are arguably seeing this occur all over the country right now.
  • Connection is the most commonly shared personal value based on the assessment on Mr. Menswar’s website, and this particular value has been very strained this year with the pandemic. 
  • With the pandemic and it being an election year, people have started to let their emotions fuel their actions and that can deter people from acting on their personal core values consistently. 
  • When you do not have conversations that are rooted in your core values, your feelings are what drives your connection with others, which can lead to people violating their values. This can severely affect relationships with others and with yourself.
  • When discovering your personal values, it can absolutely be beneficial to have your family or team members do the same.
    • Mr. Menswar claims he will avoid political, religious, or other “touchy” conversations with people until they have completed the assessment and discovered their personal core values. 
    • Discussing sensitive topics can be much easier and more civil when both parties know their core values because it is no longer opinion or misconstrued facts that are at hand, it is values and morals.

The Black Sheep Experience

  • The Black Sheep Experience is Mr. Menswar's coaching, designed for both organizations and individuals. 
  • This coaching helps teams and individuals develop, define, understand, and live our personal core values. 
  • The process typically lasts about five weeks and begins with individuals taking the assessment, to proving what is real, to speaking those personal values into existence,and to choosing a purpose statement for your life.
    • From there, bridges can be built between personal and corporate/organizational values. 
    • These personal values help eliminate groupthink and the core values of individuals can then uniquely contribute to the corporate/organizational goals. 
  • Mr. Menswar’s coaching website offers a worksheet to help people and their teams work through this process. 
  • This worksheet helps him to understand how different groups of people are similar and are different from each other by factors such as age, gender, and much more. 

Brant Menswar Backstory

Contact

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About the Author Jacqueline Gregory

As a creative, persuasive communications professional with extensive experience guiding projects from concept through completion Jacqui has produced custom communications for some of the world's best known brands. Producing ProjectHR has been one of her favorite ways to engage and delight HR and Labor Relations professionals!

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